This morning started out wonderful. Great day playing with Natie. Getting showered with hugs & kisses, but like I said yesterday he’s coming down with something so he’s on this “nap strike”. Like yesterday he took a 20-30 nap, but late in the day. When he woke up he was another kid. Just not himself…I have a scratch on my face to prove it. Things like this get to me so much that it throws off everything – my eating, etc. I was able to turn his mood around a bit by blasting some music & dancing around with him. I got some activity points in too! But, he soon came crashing down again & so did I.
Unfortunately all I feel is the anger, hurt & pain from the afternoon – that led me to overeat & go off track. I almost feel depressed from it all. I asked myself why can’t you focus on the kisses & hugs you received today – the giggles you heard when you made a funny face or kissed his stinky little feet? It’s as though I want to be miserable – as though I want to feel this way – I don’t I really don’t….I think.