A step in the right direction….

…and I’m not just talking about the scale, though the scale did move in the right direction – I weighed in 1.2 down! And yes, I did another little dance on the scale. I think this might be a new thing for me – scale jigging!

photo

But, what’s really great is I’m showing myself I can go upstate & still have a positive outcome on the scale. This is big for me…no it’s HUGE! When I go upstate, I’m not only in that “vacation mindset” where I feel I can take a break from everything – including food control, but I get into this emotional battle. When I say I’m going upstate it’s not just to any place, it’s my childhood home, the house my parents built with their own two hands. The place where every Christmas was magical and where so many every day memories come rushing full force at me. The reason why so many of these happy memories are so hard is that all my family is gone. My Mom, Dad, Grammie & Brother. So when I visit up there I not only think of the good, but I can’t help but think how they’re gone. What do I always do, but turn to food. Food will always be there. Food will fill this huge void I have in my heart. The food gives me the comfort I need…but only at that moment. Soon after I realize what I’ve done & then comes the battles I have within. “Why? Why did you lose control again?” “Did this really help?” “Did this bring them back?” I still don’t know why food is what I turn to, maybe because it’s always there? I’m not really sure, but I’m taking this all in & taking it one day at a time.

Advertisements

About Lori

I'm a 39 year old Mom to a wonderful little boy - who lights up my life. I'm happily married to boot! Currently working on getting my health, which includes my weight in order. I'm hoping this blog will be a tool in my journey.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A step in the right direction….

  1. Oh Lori, boy do I understand the relationship between food, family and memories. I’ve said this on my blog many times… for some reason, eating makes it better in those moments. I know turning to food isn’t the right answer during those times, but sometimes, it’s the only answer we can deal with. It feels good in the moment and that’s okay. Good for you in ackowledging it all and still having a positive outlook ( and weigh-in). Yay for scale jigging 😉

    • Lori says:

      You’re so right Marisa. Sometimes eating that Stewart’s Ice Cream when I’m up there is ok. I need to do it for the right reasons…and not overinduldge like I’ve done in the past.
      My scale jigging is pretty intense! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s